Why Making Friends in Belgium Can Be Challenging

During my interactions with Belgian people, I have realised that they are usually kind and friendly. However, when attempting to build a real friendship, especially in the context of adult life, I have found this particularly difficult. Despite their friendliness, Belgian people are generally not actively looking to make new friends.

At the workplace, people tend to be focused on their tasks and usually avoid getting involved in others' personal matters. This is understandable. If a conflict arises, having close relationships at work or sharing personal details could become problematic. In contrast, in many parts of the Americas, people are more likely to open up when they spend a lot of time together, even if there is a risk of future disagreement.

At first, I thought these limitations applied only to professional environments. I assumed that outside of work, people would be more open to meeting others and forming new connections. Unfortunately, this was not the case. The same pattern was also present in social settings beyond the office. I eventually learned, through conversations with others and with my Belgian partner, that many people here maintain the friendships and social circles they formed during their youth. These groups are usually quite tight knit, and it is very difficult to enter them unless you are the partner of someone already inside.

Later on, I found out that this tendency is common in other European countries as well. Having grown up in Latin America, this was a strange concept for me. I have moved many times in search of educational and professional opportunities, so I have been forced to build friendships in different places. At the same time, I have grown and evolved over the years, and some of the friendships I had in the past would no longer be compatible with who I am today.

I do not mean this as a harsh criticism of the way social connections are built in Belgium. On the contrary, I can also see the beauty in it. Friendships that begin early in life offer the chance to grow together, to support each other through different stages, and to appreciate and accept one another through changes in personality, circumstances, and values.

I also do not mean to say that it is impossible to make friends with Belgians. It is possible, especially if you are willing to take the first step and have the patience to let the relationship grow slowly. It simply takes more time to truly get to know people here. On the bright side, once you are accepted into someone’s inner circle, you will likely find loyal, supportive, and stable friendships, which are deeply meaningful.

Coming from a highly social culture, I know how easy it is to talk to strangers and feel like part of a group. But that does not necessarily mean real friendships are being formed. The truth is that making friends as an adult is hard, no matter where you are. Still, it is always worth trying. Understanding the cultural context can be a powerful tool in building meaningful connections.